There Were Day's...

As my maternity leave wraps up, I think about all the days and all the emotions in the past few months.  If I am being honest, there were days...

Days that I couldn't wait for Friday so Cody would be home for the weekend to help me with Hanley.

Days that I had to sit Cody down and tell him how much I appreciate him doing chores around the house on the weekends but what I really needed was him to take Hanley so I could have a break and do the chores, uninterrupted.

Days that I felt guilty for wanting a break from Hanley because I knew once I am back to work, I would be wishing for that time with him again.

Days (okay, maybe weeks) that even the thought of going back to work and leaving Hanley with a sitter brought me to uncontrollable tears.

Days that I felt like I did nothing but sit on the couch and FEED!

Days that I felt like I was not cut out to be a stay-at-home Mom and needed to go back to work.

Days that I had to convince myself that this is the perfect time to go back to work. Telling myself that I have had quality time with him at home to create a strong mother-baby bond but he's young enough to not really know whats going on when I go back to work. Going to the sitter's will just be the norm for him from the start.

Days where I have to convince myself that returning to work will financially benefit Hanley and help us provide the kind of life we want for him.

Days that I am beyond appreciative of my extended maternity leave but wish for just a few more weeks.

Days where I think 'Hey, Maybe I COULD do this SAHM thing!'

Days where I just want to freeze time.

Days where I just look at him with tears in my eyes because I love him so much.

There have been lots of days filled with different thoughts and emotions but one thing I can say is there hasn't been a single day with him that I have taken for granted. I have LOVED everyday at home, the good ones and the bad hard ones.