Happy "Shoulda-Been-Your-Birthday" Hanley Man

One year ago today was my first day of maternity leave and Hanley's due date.  Last year at this time, I was on my 3rd walk of the day with Roxy and doing anything and everything to try to induce labor. Today, I am sitting here pumping while my sweet baby is down for a nap. Oh my, so much has changed in just 1 year.

I feel like Cody and I were pretty realistic about how life would change once the baby came, how it would effect us financially and what kind of parents we wanted to be.  Some things went as expected and others didn't...

1. We said we would never use a wipe warmer and never did. Hanley has never had the pleasure of feeling a warm wipe on his bum...his Daddy says it makes him tough.

2. I said I would make all his baby food. Nope-this didn't happen.  The boy refuses Mama's homemade puree's, apparently Gerber has the special touch.

3. We said Hanley would grow up camping, beginning with his first summer.  Lucky for us, he loves the great outdoors and went camping 5 times over the summer.

4. We said we would encourage and enforce healthy sleeping habits, self soothing, etc. Sleep training began at 3.5 months old.  It was hard on Hanley and I both at first but the end result was a great little sleeper. 

5. I told Cody Roxy was getting kicked out of the house during the day once Hanley became mobile. I didn't want him crawling around on dirty floors.  Well, Roxy won this one...and my floors are still dirty.

6. I said I was going to do P90X during maternity leave. Ha!

7. We always planned on me going back to work. Many people told me once I had that baby in my arms, I would re-consider that decision. I will admit, yes it was VERY hard to leave him once my maternity leave was up but I went back to work....part-time.

8. To no surprise, the spreadsheet was dead on.

9. I said I was going to nurse for 6 months. Well, I killed it on that one! It's a wonder I didn't give up after battling mastitis so many times though.

10. I said I wanted a natural birth. Pitocin was not in my birth plan but other than that, I rocked one long, tough labor.

A baby changes a lot. Some days are tough but every day is a blessing.  I am glad we mostly prepared and realistic about how a baby would change the dynamics of our family.

P.S. Dear Hanley- Happy "Shoulda-Been-Your-Birthday" little man.  Oma said it perfectly today, you were worth the wait! We love you.

First Fever and Spookley

I got a text from April Tuesday last week saying Hanley was running a fever. Oh no, my boys first fever. I ran my end of day reports at work and rushed out of the office (even forgetting his milk! You know my mind is elsewhere when I leave behind the breast milk!). I drove home like a mad woman, breaking traffic laws right in front of cops and all.  I was on a mission.  I knew there probably wasn't a lot I could do, but sometimes Mama snuggles go a long way.

I stayed home with him on Wednesday. We pretty much snuggled and read all day. My Mom bought him a new book for Halloween so it was perfect timing for our low key day at home.  I can't tell you how many times we read Spookley! He loves it. Thank you Meme!

 

Sharing with Sister!

Learning to shares begins at home, right? Well, who better to learn to share with than your own big sister?!

I really thought Hanley would enjoy the Gerber cookies I bought him.  Well, it turns out he thought Roxy would enjoy them too.

"Yumm...this is pretty good"

"Hey Sis, you want a bite?"

"Oh okay, go ahead...eat the whole cookie"



Then, Hanley turned to me a signed "more" so he could feed another one to Roxy! A bite for the boy, then a bite for the girl...thats about how it went! Dinner time is getting pretty interesting at our house!

Faulk Baby and Familiy Run

We had a great weekend in Eugene.  It was actually one of the very few weekends that we did a lot but it didn't feel overwhelming.  I often overbook us so bad that we end up running around town and are on a time schedule constantly.

We went down to celebrate with The Faulk's.  It was a Faulk Baby Beaver Birthday Bash...one big party with lots of reasons to celebrate: Mindy and Clayton's birthday, Beaver football, and a Baby Shower/Reveal Party! IT'S A GIRL!!! We are soooo excited for them...they will make the best parents! Hanley had a great time at the party. Mindy showed him where her Mom hides all the toys for her grandkids.  He wasn't shy about helping himself to all the fun girly toys!

One of my favorite parts of the weekend though was simply getting up in the morning and going on our first family run.  Hanley and I have been on many runs together but we can't ever seem to convince Cody to join us :o)  You see, I like to think of myself as somewhat of a runner.  Cody, not so much. He doesn't share the same love for it as I do. We both grew up playing sports and have a little bit of a competitive side.  Each time we make a bet, I always say "If I win, we go on a family run and you push the stroller!".  The best part about this run was I didn't even have to win a bet to get him to come along.  The three of us enjoyed a 4 mile loop on a cold, foggy Saturday morning.  About halfway into the run, I asked Cody if how he was doing with the stroller.  His response, "The stroller is holding me up.  Not like slowing me down but literally keeping me from falling down." I started laughing so hard but I am happy to announce, he survived the run.

The rest of the weekend included breakfast with Grandma Tina, shopping with my Mom, dinner with the in-laws, watching football with friends and brunch at my parents house today before heading out of town.

Liquid Gold

It all started 3 or 4 weeks ago.  I had a clogged duct on the right side and started getting mastitis from another clogged duct on the left side.  My production was down and my emotions were up. 

To top it off, it was my first full week at work and by Thursday night I was having a hard time adjusting to being away from Hanley so much. I ran in the door at 7:30 pm hoping to spend as much time with Hanley before  his bedtime.  However, it turns out I came home to 10 oz of wasted breast milk sitting on the counter and my little man already in bed. To be honest, I had a catastrophic meltdown. I tried my hardest to explain to Cody that I wasn't mad at him but I was devastated about the milk.  I had spent 1 1/2 hours at work pumping and was only able to bring home 12 oz of milk (remember, my production was down- normally I would pump and send 18-20 oz of breast milk to daycare for Hanley). Our freezer supply was down and I knew I couldn't replace the wasted milk sitting right in front of me. I couldn't even bring myself to throw it away.  I let it sit there until Cody dumped it down the drain.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next morning I called the lactation specialist.  I told her my son was 10 months old and I was hoping to breastfeed until he was 12 months.  I then explained my meltdown and told her I was putting too much pressure on myself to keep up my supply. I wanted advice on formula or other options I may have but she just wanted to talk to me about how I can increase my supply, "Add more pumping sessions in while your at home and at work, pump in the morning and before bed, pump after nursing him on the days your home with him, take supplements, drink milk tea..." When I got off the phone, I felt worse.  Is she for real? Does she know what being a Mom is like? Do I have more time in my day to attach myself the pump more...NO! This is REAL life, woman!!

I felt discouraged. I refused to take supplements or to drink tea.  I am kind of a believer in nature.  If my body decides its time to stop production then that was just the way it was going to be.  I needed to accept it and figure out a game plan for Hanley.

Over the weekend, Cody and I had a long discussion about introducing cows milk or formula to take some of the pressure off of me. However, by Monday my production was back to normal we never had to worry about supplementing.

Then, Friday last week, Hanley started to bite me. I flicked his cheek and told him "no" but that didn't seem to phase him.  I lightly popped him on the mouth once and sat him down to cry while I prepared him a bottle instead.  By Sunday morning, I felt like HE was the one trying to tell ME "no", he didn't want it.

It's not like he was slowly losing interest or anything.  He just flat out woke up and decided that he was done.I honestly see so much of Cody in him.  When Cody decides on something, that it.  It's a done deal and he is all in. Cody is also all about efficiency.  I think it may have clicked with Hanley that he can get the milk a lot faster from the bottle.

So...after trying so hard to avoid being attached to that damn pump all the time, I have spent the week attached to it more than ever. I have 4 more weeks to go but I am taking it one day at a time.  Thankfully we have now have a freezer supply so it's not like I feel an overwhelming amount of pressure.  However, I think I have scarred Cody. He is so afraid to waste any of that liquid gold.

My emotions seem to be in check for the most part.  I think Hanley weaning himself probably took a lot of the emotional aspect out of the process. I am thankful for our 10+ months of bonding while I nursed him but I have realized that I am still able to enjoy his cuddles, even with a bottle feeding....

I took this picture on Thursday last week.  I had NO IDEA it would be one of our last nursing sessions. It was early morning, we laid in bed, he cuddled his alligator blanked and held my hand.  I am pretty sure I will remember this moment forever.

11 MONTHS

Wow. This was a big month.  Nobody prepared me for the jump from 10 to 11 months.  In 4 weeks time, he's like a new boy!

At 11 months old...

 

-He took his first steps 2 weeks ago.  He is taking anywhere from 2-5 steps at a time now and can stand up on his own without the assistance of nearby furniture.

 

-I started signing to him this month.  I started signing "more" and he picked it up quickly! The only problem now is he will often sign for "more" before he is even done with his bite! I am now trying to teach him "eat", "all done" and "milk".

 

-Him and Roxy are finally starting to bond....bond over food that is! He loves to drop her food from his high chair!!! Since we don't feed Roxy table scraps, this is a pretty big deal to her.  Probably the highlight of her day!

 

-Exactly 7 days ago today, He decided he was done nursing and it came as a complete shock. If I can work up the courage, I will have a separate post about this at a later time.  For now, I am attached to the pump for what seems like all day!

 

-We spent a lot of time in Eugene the past month which means Hanley got a lot of time in with the Grandparents! Probably my favorite moment was when I went to pick him up at my parents house after the Dirty Duck race, I asked my Mom how he was and she said, "I don't know, your Dad HOGGED him the whole time!" There's just something about seeing my Dad with Hanley that makes my heart happy.

 

-Our babysitter was on vacation which made me realize it really does take a village to raise a child! He spent one day with my friend Sarah and her two girls (Josie and Brooklyn), one day with my co-worker Shaira (and her nieces!), and one day with my neighbor and her daughter (Kate), then Cody and I had to both take one day off work to fill in some childcare gaps. As much fun as Hanley had getting passed around, I think we were all happy to have April back in town!